Listen to Barbara’s appearance on the Industrial IoT Podcast by MarketScale, entitled “Save the People, Save the Bees” from December 12, 2018.
Barbara discusses the role of technology in keeping close tabs on our loved ones.
The full podcast episode can found here: MarketScale Industrial IoT 12/12/18: Save the People, Save the Bees
In the middle of caregiving aging parents, is it better to be an only child or have siblings? I often ask my audiences and they just start to laugh. Even good families become dysfunctional in the middle of caregiving!
Listen to Barbara on the LeadershipNOW® Podcast with Tom Mathews as she discusses the question “Are You Ready To Take Care of Your Aging Parents?”
Part 1
https://leadershipnow.simplecast.fm/65298c89
Part 2
https://leadershipnow.simplecast.fm/0fa58139
LeadershipNOW® with Tom Mathews is the official vision and strategy podcast for WealthWave® leaders and features in-depth discussions on how to succeed as a financial services entrepreneur.
SeniorAdvice.com created an infographic and corresponding article on the topic of single seniors. You can find some excellent information on which cities are rated the highest for single seniors.
“The number of single adults over age 50 in the United States is larger than ever. That is good news for older generations who may feel apprehensive about dating later in life. Dating can be interesting, fun and offer positive experiences to those who decide to dive in. Whether divorced, widowed or just tired of being single, now is a prime time to get into the dating game…”
Read the full article with infographic: Top 15 Cities for Single Seniors Article + Infographic
Download the infographic: Top 15 Cities for Single Seniors Infographic
An interesting article and corresponding infographic was recently posted on SeniorAdvice.com.
“Did you know that there is an actual term for the burnout that many senior caregivers experience? Well-known in the healthcare community are the terms caregiver syndrome, caregiver fatigue and caregiver stress. Although these terms are used interchangeably, the condition is not yet outlined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders…”
Read the full article with infographic: Ways to Reduce Stress for Senior Caregivers Article + Infographic
Download the infographic: Ways to Reduce Stress for Senior Caregivers Infographic
Barbara is quoted in a new article about the difficulty that many people have in talking about aging.
“It used to be that people cared about the food and cleanliness. Now they want amenities, price, location, on-site medical professionals, a place for all the rest of their lives (continuing care), security, activities, decreased isolation, continuing education programs…”
You can read the full article here: How to Discuss Aging in Health Writing
Barbara provides her expertise in a recent LifeZette article titled “A Crisis of Loneliness for America’s Elderly”. The article discusses the increasing need for love and attention among US seniors and can be read in its entirety at:
https://www.lifezette.com/momzette/crisis-loneliness-america-elderly/
Recently there has been much discussion about the isolation of the elderly and its health and emotional side effects. Doctors now believe that isolation has the same effect on the body as does smoking several packs of cigarettes a day. Lack of social interaction also leads to cognitive decline and increased depression.
2/3 of elderly say their only companion is the TV. These people have no physical touch or conversation from other people. There is no need to bathe or dress. Please consider saying “hello” to the elderly when you pass them by or stop to talk to your isolated neighbor. It might just make both of you feel good!
Many of us do not plan for long term care for ourselves or our family. 70% of people over 65 years of age will need some kind of long term care. Even 40% of the people 18-65 will need some long term care. When planning for the financial future, we need to factor in health care costs.
Those people who have Medicare think it will provide long term care. It does not! Medicare will pay for a heart transplant, but not for care over 100 days except in certain circumstances. Patients are being sent home from the hospital with very complicated care regiments with the expectation that family members will provide that hands-on care. The person providing the care almost needs to have an RN degree to administer all the meds and wound care.
As lifespans increase, planning for health care is a must. Families need to have open discussions about what will happen if grandmother can no longer live alone. What extreme medical procedures to invoke? Hospice? End-of-life? Please have those crucial conversations sooner than later!
Strokes had been the 3rd leading cause of death in the USA. Recently it “fell” to 5th which is mostly due to new procedures administered within hours of the stroke occurring. The IV med tPA should be used within 3-4.5 hours for best results. The newer thrombectomy procedure should be used in a 6-24 hour window.
Also new is the updated acronym of symptoms—
BEFAST: balance, eyes, facial droop, arm drift/weakness, speech difficulties, and time. It is essential to act quickly and call 911 if these signs of a stroke are detected. ¾ of all stroke victims are over the age of 65. Stroke is still the leading cause of serious long-term disability. The highest risk factors are hypertension and smoking. Please share this information with your family and friends.
Barbara recently contributed to a new article, 5 Trends to Watch in Elder Care.
The full article can be read at: 5 Trends to Watch in Elder Care
The latest article from Barbara McVicker, Stop Talking Down To Your Elderly Loved Ones, will help you to recognize the signs of elderspeak so you can avoid it.
The full article can be read at: https://www.caring.com/articles/elderspeak
Having the talk about aging should be a three generation discussion. A good benchmark is when your kids are going off to college, or when the older generation is starting into their 70’s. Please start the crucial conversations sooner than later. It might be too late!!!
Many Baby Boomers find themselves “stuck in the middle” caring for elderly parents, taking care of their own kids, and maybe working full-time. Barbara McVicker presents 5 advice tips for coping with caring for your parents.
The adult child who is doing most of the caring for elderly mom and dad is often running on empty. Caregivers many times do not take care of themselves. As the airline attendant states at the beginning of each flight… “First take care of yourself so you can then attend to those around you”.
Are you part of the Sandwich Generation? Most people think of this term as being specific to one particular generation, but it really crosses several generations. You might be in your late 30’s or even in your 60’s and find yourself “Stuck in the Middle” of kids, career, and taking care of aging parents.
Caregiving aging parents is a marathon, not a sprint! We underestimate the obligation of caregiving. Read…
Depression is often viewed by the elderly as a character flaw. It is an illness that requires recognition and treatment. A common misconception regards depression as just a part of normal aging, but that is not the case. The elderly have only a 1-5% (1) higher incident than the normal population. Read…
I recently received an email from a lady who was searching for someone who really understands the challenges of caregiving elderly parents. It was sad that her parents were her greatest supporters, her cheerleaders while growing up, and now they are not capable of telling her those encouraging words. She misses that so much.
After she looked through my website she thought that the 2 most important items to her were (1) to have a network and (2) for parents to share their information with their children. I personally would add that caregiving impacts all 3 generations.
She goes on to say, “As one doctor has said to me – it is like a marathon…however, I would call it more like a triathlon – Ironman. Also, it feels like a rite of passage. This time in my life has been extremely challenging. Most of my peers (including my husband) have not been through this, so, it has made me feel lonely at times. Not to mention you are faced with figuring out who you really are. You are taken away from the life you consider “normal” with the hopes that you will be able to come back to it again – living in a little fear and knowing you will most likely not have that “normal” feeling again.
Please feel free to email me directly your comments so I might share your insights with others. Barbara@BarbaraMcVicker.com
The following is a link to an article which nationally known author Amy Goodman Koss wrote for The LA Times. She is a professional acquaintance of mine. The poignant Op Ed is about her journey taking care of her elderly mother. I was deeply moved by her honesty.
Guest Expert Blogger:
Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH
Earlier this week, while I was listening to a social work colleague (Mary Hulme of Moonstone Geriatrics) give a talk on dementia at the public library, the following question came up:
“How can one keep Alzheimer’s from getting worse?” Read…
I often quote studies done by Dr. Glaser at Ohio State Medical center that looked at the impact on family caregivers who care for their elderly parents. The stress of care giving often negatively affects longevity, the immune system, and mental outlook.
So when I read a new study which states that caregivers may live longer, I was doubtful. First of all they only looked at family members who were caring for stroke victims. The research showed that the survival advantages were due to enhanced self-esteem when they received gratitude from the care recipients. “…when care giving is done willingly, at manageable levels, and they are thanked.”
The last line of the article stated “more research is needed particularly on those caring for aging parents”. If you are taking care of elderly parents, you know for certain that this needs MORE study!
Because caregiving can sometimes be sad or depressing, I decided to share with you a “forward” I received. Both my husband and I laughed out loud. However, I think my husband might have laughed the loudest!
Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat-down. Read…
I had the honor of interviewing Dr. Scharre from The Ohio State Medical Center as one of the 3 experts for my PBS-TV special. He is at the end of the Special. What he emphasized over and over was to get a good diagnosis. There are many diagnoses other than dementia but look like a cognitive problem… UTI, mourning, B-12, dehydration, and many more. Many of these other health problems are curable or have great interventions available. Read…
My staff and I laughed out loud when we read the responses to a recent article in a Virginia newspaper. The newspaper published an OP ED about an elderly lady who hit a 7 year old girl. The little girl ran out in the street to retrieve a ball, was hit by an elderly driver, and later the girl died. The editorial said that it was time to discuss administering drivers test every 2 years for people over a certain age. Read…
Guest Expert Blogger:
Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH
Many family caregivers know that medications can cause side-effects in older people, and may worry that perhaps their loved ones are being affected by medications. Read…
Caregiving elderly parents is a national issue that will overwhelm us in the near future. A PEW Study discussed some of the issues that impact the rising need for family members to care for their aging parents. “As more people are able to be saved by medical advances, their lives are being extended, but they are also being sent home medically fragile.” Most caregivers are not trained to handle the very complicated regiment that newly discharged parents need.
Baby Boomers will need to have RN or MD degrees to keep their parents healthy. They will also need to figure out how to pay for their own retirement while also giving up to 10% of their pay checks to support their elderly parents. Boomers wonder if they will ever be able to retire. The slowing economy is squeezing all generations. There are more 3 generations living together than ever before. The graying of America will stress all of our institutions.
Too often we underestimate the time obligation of caregiving. Adult children step up to be the primary hands-on caregiver having no idea that they may spend as much time caring for their parents as they spent raising their children. Read…
Isolation in the general public has huge ramifications, but is even more escalated in the elderly. Being lonely can impact the brain, heart and even cause death. Almost ½ of women over 75 are living alone. Neglect and abandonment is a health issue that we can design communities and institutions to effectively deal with. The question is when will this happen? Read…
China has a law that requires grown children to look after their parents who are 60 years or older. Grown children must visit at least every 1-2 months and on holidays. The wording of “frequently” visit written into law is to make certain children see that their elderly parent’s financial and spiritual needs are met.
All countries going forward will have difficulties caring for the elderly. We balance health care on the backs of families caring for each other. In the US 85% of care is done for free by family. That cannot be sustained with more single women, both spouses working, dispersed families, very complicated care regiments, economic stresses, living longer, declining birth rates, and the impact of factors that we have not even begun to imagine.
The questions are: What will we do as a nation to have the elderly age with grace and support? What are we going to do to support the Baby Boomers who are overwhelmed and stuck in the middle of kids, career, and taking care of aging parents?
Depression affects approximately 20% of people over the age of sixty-five, yet only about one in six is treated appropriately. Depression is a treatable medical condition, not a natural part of the aging process. To further complicate the issue, 80% of those over 65 have at least one chronic condition, and 50% have 2 or more. The burden of living with a chronic condition, particularly one not well managed can increase the liklihood of experiencing depression. As you care for your parents, report any of these symptoms to your parents’ doctor: Read…
We all know that a low salt, low fat diet with plenty of fruits, vegetables, and fiber can reduce the risk of age related risks of heart disease, diabetes, stroke, osteoporosis, and other chronic diseases. However, there are lots of other foods out there. Can you eat those other foods and still experience healthy aging? Yes! Read…
While we all know this, we don’t always follow it. Unfortunately, neither do our parents. Not only do heathy people experience a better quality of life, they are also easier to care for.For people over 65 years of age there are eight indicators that signal the appropriate amount of prevention is occurring. Those are: Read…
Caregiving requires many conversations that may be uncomfortable for your elderly parent or loved one. As a caregiver, you can facilitate conversations with less friction by keeping some key points in mind. Read…
Guest Expert Blogger:
Marie Gibson
This article is part three of a three part series that will help you step into an advocacy role, feel more confident about your role as a caregiver, and communicate effectively with medical professionals. These tips and actions are practical and provide real life advice to help you navigate through the countless tests, doctors, nurses, therapists, medicines and other medical professionals and new terminology. Moving forward, accept that you have a steep learning curve and apply yourself persistently. Read…
Practical caregiving tips to advocate for your hospitalized patient
This article is part two of a three part series that will help you step into an advocacy role, feel more confident about your role as a caregiver, and communicate effectively with medical professionals. These tips and actions are practical and provide real life advice to help you navigate through the countless tests, doctors, nurses, therapists, medicines and other medical professionals and new terminology. Moving forward, accept that you have a steep learning curve and apply yourself persistently. Read…
If you have a family member or loved one in a hospital or rehab facility, your life needs simplification–immediately! With these simple tips you’ll make the stay easier and maintain control of your emotions better. You’ll also learn to coordinate communications among multiple caregivers and collaborate with medical professionals in an advocacy role for your patient. Read…
A new article in the New York Times, shines a light on the problems employed caregivers jobs can encounter. It suggests that it may be easier to take time off to care of your children than to care for your parents. Thanks to FMLA you can take time away from your job to care for your family. The trouble for caregivers in the workplace stems from trying to accommodate alternative work arrangements. Companies are often wary to make the adjustments that would allow employees to do their jobs, as well as care for their aging parents.
We can anticipate the need for childcare and know about how long it is going to last. The need for eldercare is often sudden and the length of time is unpredictable. These differences call for a change in the language used for constructing family leave laws. The law that allows parents to care for children, when more inclusive language is applied, could also allow the Baby Boomers to effectively take care of their elderly parents.
Approaching the subject of driving should be taken in very strategic steps. The first step should be to ride along with your elderly parent. The more obvious signs that your parent shouldn’t be driving are getting lost and diminished vision. If theses signs aren’t apparent, check for slowed reaction times and a safe distance. Be sure to take note of appropriate speed and their ability to complete complicated maneuvers.
If you don’t quite have a clear case for suggesting that you parent not drive start setting parameters. Asking them to drive only during the day, in good weather, in familiar places and staying off interstates are good ways to keep everyone safe and still allow them freedom.
If your parent really should not be driving consider asking a third party to help take the keys. Asking a doctor, AAA course, the DMV, insurance agent, or friend to help may make the difference. Remember when taking something away, have solutions ready and in place. Some options are public transportation, riding with friends, Share-a-Ride and your Local Area on Aging may even be helpful.
As caregivers to our elderly parents, we think that everyone should see that we are drowning. If you really feel like you are drowning, it’s time to ask for help. That small piece of advice can sometimes be the hardest to accept. Caregivers are horrible at asking for help. We also think that we are the only ones who can get the job done correctly. Or that asking for help somehow diminishes the work we have been doing.
Getting help can sometimes be as simple as saying “Yes” when you are asked “Is there anything I can do?”. Make a “job jar” that is filled with the tasks that other people can do for you. You could also try emailing your sister right now to tell her what days next month you will be gone and need her to take care of Mom and Dad. It could be that you end up pleasantly surprised by her response that she is happy to help. Another alternative is to find out how much it would cost to hire in help for those days. Ask her if she would rather pay for the in-home care agency if she is unavailable.
With that free time, you may find yourself coming back to your tasks refreshed and ready to tackle all the stress of being a caregiver. Sometimes the best way to take care of others is to take care of ourselves.
Alzheimer’s is a type of dementia that affects the brain’s comprehension. It is a progressive and terminal disease that can last 2-20 years (average 8 years). 1 in 8 people over the age of 65 have Alzheimer’s Disease. By age 85, it increases to 50%. It is the fourth leading cause of death in older adults (seventh overall), and all by itself, it will bankrupt the Medicare system.
Early diagnosis of AD is critical. There are several disorders that can look like Alzheimer’s. Before concluding that a person has AD, rule out the following reversible and treatable diagnoses: depression, drug interactions, thyroid disturbance, malnourishment, dehydration, fluctuating blood sugars, chronic infections (including Urinary Tract Infection and Pneumonia), and brain tumor or head trauma.
There are some early symptoms: personality change, decreased executive functioning (balancing a checkbook), getting lost in familiar places, impaired judgment, decline in language and verbal skills, and social withdrawal. I know most of us are panicked that we will someday have memory problems. I once heard someone say that forgetting where you put your car keys is normal. Forgetting what the car keys are for, might be a major dementia.
The National Institute on Aging has released a free guide for caregivers of those with Alzheimer’s Disease. I have provided a link here to that guide.
CWRU just published a study on the impact of caregiving on the adult child. This study was conducted by nurse researchers at Case Western Reserve University. If you are or have been a caregiver you are well aware the problems caregivers face such as back problems, fatigue, and depression. The study supports this and especially focuses on the higher levels of depression.
Previous studies done at The Ohio State University focused on the physical impact. They found that the caregiver actually shortened their life expectancy for 3 years. The caregiver is often called the “hidden patient”. The primary caregiver of an Alzheimer’s patient, often dies before the patient. This probably just documents what you are already feeling!
As a caregiver it is important to find time to take care of yourself. Take 1 hour per day to revive with a good book, gardening, and meeting friends for coffee. Try eating a well-balanced diet and exercising most days. Keep your stress levels as low as possible by prioritizing, making lists, establishing routines, and delegating tasks to other people. Find a support group online or better yet, locally. Most importantly ask for and accept help.
As an eldercare expert, I speak all across the country. In listening to my audiences, I have discovered some universal themes that are common to all caregivers. Over the next couple of months, I will share all 10 themes.
The greatest Boomer fear is to have taken care of aging parents for 10 years, and not have learned a thing about how to age better. We are panicked that we will repeat the same things our parents have done. That we will be a burden to our kids and present the same challenges. We will not have cleaned the clutter out of our house. We will not have our entire financial, medical and legal papers assembled and signed. We will not have planned ahead. We will not give up our care keys with a smile and loving heart.
My book Stuck in the Middle…shared stories and tips for caregiving your elderly parents started as a list on my computer. It was a list of all the things I was going to do better than my parents. I titled it “I’ll be darned if I’m going to do this to MY kids!” All my friends wanted to add their thoughts to my list. Once it was compiled, I signed the list and gave a copy to each of my two young adult children. We will all see if I am compliant when I am elderly.
Stay tuned!
There are 75 million adults taking care of their elderly parents. Of that number, 2/3 are in the workforce … stuck in the middle of kids, career, and aging parents. Many provide 40 hours of unpaid hands-on care with little or no outside support. Read…
I just read an article out of the UK titled “The Forgotten Age”. We have known for a long time that the issue of caring for aging parents impacts the caregiver’s emotional, physical and financial well being. Going forward the factors that complicate this “informal” caregiving will be unusual sociological issues. Read…
I remember driving home from taking care of my 86 year old parents, and thinking that I needed to reward myself for all that I did for them. Since a rarely got a “thank you” and often was in the middle of their bitter arguments, I really need something. Read…
Expert Guest Blogger:
Productivity Coach Meggin McIntosh
An apple peel that is! Muscle atrophy (the weakening and breaking down of muscle tissue) impacts most people at some time in their life due to illness or aging. Unfortunately, there is no medication available to treat muscle atrophy.
Read…
“The age of the body is defined by the flexibility of the spine”
~ Maya Fiennes, yoga master
We all want our parents to remain as active and independent as possible, and we want the same thing for ourselves! Regular exercise is pivotal for seniors. Seniors are at greater risk for disease, lost mobility, and falls than any other age group. Conversely, they often realize the positive effects of exercise more quickly than other age groups. If your parent hasn’t been exercising, it can be difficult to get started. Read…
“This is what you need to do. Please sign here.”
Too often, caregivers, already reeling from a parent’s recent health crisis, are simply handed written medical instructions, new prescriptions, a car load of medical equipment, and sent on their way. They are offered no training, no one asks if they are prepared for their new assignment, or how they are doing emotionally. Read…
Whether you give care to a friend or family member, or receive care from a friend or family member, you know that such care is so valuable, it is truly invaluable. The world is just beginning to catch up with that understanding. Read…
I always ask my audiences to shout out the emotions associated with caregiving. ‘Sad’, ‘overwhelmed’, ‘denial’, and ‘angry’ are typically the first responses. Mentioned less frequently, but perhaps even more important are ‘resentment’, ‘isolation’, and ‘burdened’. Yet, no matter where in the country I speak, the one emotion that always bubbles to the top of the list is ‘guilt’. Read…
Help a Caregiver You Know
Angela Diaz-Burris began caregiving as a young teenager as a volunteer working with kids who had developmental disabilities. She regularly cared for a little boy with cerebral palsy and was devastated when he passed away under her care. As a young girl, most of us would have been too traumatized to continue caregiving, and too scared to experience that loss again. However, Angela was different, and her passion for caregiving gave her strength and allowed her to continue to help people. Read…
Every caregiver has a story, and every story needs to be told.
I am so excited to share with you that I have been selected to participate on a panel of leading senior care experts to judge the SeniorHomes.com Caregiver Recognition Awards program, co-sponsored by Emeritus Senior Living. The Caregiver Recognition Awards program aims to recognize the millions of Americans serving as caregivers; be it as a professional caregiver, or as a caregiver to a loved one or friend. Read…
The world of Aging Services is large, complicated, and can be overwhelming. It is difficult to understand where to go, what agency does what, and how to access assistance for your parents.
Here’s a bird’s eye view of what’s what:
With so many of us now living with and caring for our parents, we are constantly searching for ways to incorporate that care into our daily lives…and our vacations.
Remember back when our travel plans required that we consider feedings, strollers, diaper changing, and play grounds? Read…
Funeral planning is never a picnic, and this is likely why we are so often unprepared when the time comes. Our failure to plan our own funerals forces our grief-stricken loved one to plan our funerals for us, at a time when they are working to process their own pain. It is no different for our parents. As a caregiver to your parents, you are in the unique position of working with them to develop such a plan and avoid later pitfalls. Read…
Is your mom doing more things for your dad than she used to? She may be covering for his dementia.
But isn’t it normal to become more forgetful as we age? Not according to Carolyn Rosenblatt, RN, Attorney, and Mediator for aging related conflicts. Rosenblatt stresses that problems with memory are signs of underlying medical issues. Read…
Dementia is nearly the four letter word of aging. No one wants to watch their parents or partners fade away into a loss of memories and recognition. For so long it seemed that all we could do was sit back and hope the “d-word” didn’t come along. That is until now. Read…
If you are in the Columbus area on June 15, 2011 it would be a pleasure to meet you at my upcoming event: Read…
Cities across America are finally realizing their populations are aging at a rapid rate. Unfortunately, their architecture is designed for the young.
In New York City seniors will soon outnumber school children. New York Deputy Mayor Linda Gibbs says, “It’s about changing the way we think about the we’re growing old in our community.”
Read…
The importance of family caregiving meeting
Caring for your parents is a big responsibility. We all know it is very important that siblings share in that responsibility as much as possible, but what exactly does that mean? Read…
The United States loses billions each year in Medicare and Medicaid fraud scams targeted at the elderly. Knowledge is power, and by educating your parents on the scams that exist, you can protect your loved ones and their needed benefits. Read…
I just read an article out of the UK titled “The Forgotten Age”. We have known for a long time that the issue of caring for aging parents impacts the caregiver’s emotional, physical and financial well being. Going forward the factors that complicate this “informal” caregiving will be unusual sociological issues. Read…
The costs and time of caregiving will impact government and personal resources in ways that are just now emerging.
Family caregivers save society billions of dollars each year. With the elderly now being the fastest growing segment of the population, programs to meet the needs of the elderly will have to expand and consume more of the gross national product. Read…
Recognized by President Clinton when he signed the first proclamation in 1997, National Family Caregiver’s Month has been proclaimed by an American President annually ever since. Many states, and dozens of local municipalities have also proclaimed November, NFC Month. Read…
Key 4 Women luncheon sponsored by KeyBank being held TODAY at the Blackwell Center – speaker Cindy Solomon. Fundraiser for Breast Cancer.
For more information about other caregiving events, visit Barbara McVicker’s Upcoming Events page.
It is estimated that 75 million Americans are caring for an elderly parent, many while working full time and caring for a family. This is the definition of the Sandwich Generation – sandwiched between taking care of 2 generations. Read…
I was so fortunate to be quoted recently in the Wall Street Journal. Anne Tergesen wrote a fantastic piece called “When Siblings Step Up” which addressed the difficult circumstances which face siblings when caregiving an elderly parent.The article covered some great points, which I will highlight below: Read…